{"id":286,"date":"2018-06-21T11:06:42","date_gmt":"2018-06-21T11:06:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/?p=286"},"modified":"2018-06-21T11:06:42","modified_gmt":"2018-06-21T11:06:42","slug":"mediation-couples-ibiza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/?p=286","title":{"rendered":"Mediation \/ Couples – Ibiza"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why Couples Therapy? Ibiza<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Couples therapy can help couples improve their relationship in many ways. For instance, it helps couples resolve conflict, learn how to communicate effectively, better understand each other, enhance their emotional connection and strengthen their bond.<\/p>\n

Naturally, couples may face obstacles in therapy that stall their progress. They may have inaccurate assumptions about how therapy works, which can keep them stuck. Or they may delay seeing a therapist in the first place, which only deepens their problems. We asked two relationship experts to share the most common obstacles along with what couples can do to overcome them. Below you\u2019ll find six obstacles and solutions.<\/p>\n

1. Wanting the other partner to change. \u201cWhen clients come in for couple therapy they want a change,\u201d said Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill. \u201cHowever, sometimes what they really want is for the therapy to change their partner\u2019s behavior.\u201d For instance, they might want the therapist to change their partner\u2019s spending habits. But they\u2019d like to stay the same. However, in couples therapy, \u201cthe target of change is the relationship,\u201d Rastogi said. Both partners need to make changes in order to improve the relationship. Both need to change their perceptions and behaviors. \u201cFor example, couples who want to change their fights over money will each need to examine their own patterns around money, and the role it plays in their relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Not acknowledging your role. Another common \u2014 and related \u2014 obstacle is not taking responsibility for your role in your relationship problems. \u201cCouples therapy can often feel like a courtroom for the therapist,\u201d said Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples, premarital and newlywed counseling. That\u2019s because both partners are trying to communicate their side and hoping to receive validation and feedback from each other, she said. They might focus on what their partner did wrong by saying, \u201cYou did this\u201d or \u201cI did this because you did this,\u201d Hansen said. However, in order for couples therapy to be effective, both partners must acknowledge how they\u2019re contributing to the argument or problem, and work on changing their behavior, she said. She shared this example: \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I know I did not approach my complaint in the best way. I will try to phrase things differently in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Keeping secrets. Some partners start couples therapy with secrets \u2014 such as an affair or addiction \u2014 and they intend to keep those secrets, Rastogi said. However, \u201cclients who continue to keep secrets from their spouse while engaging in couple therapy are fooling themselves and their loved ones, and creating barriers to achieve real change.\u201d If you\u2019re keeping a secret from your spouse, consider its implications for your relationship, she said. \u201cSecrets can sap trust and life out of marriages. They can morph into thick walls against interpersonal intimacy.\u201d (While you don\u2019t have to share all your secrets, it\u2019s best to reveal and work through any secrets that are currently affecting your relationship, Rastogi said.) \u201cYour therapist can assist you with this process, and your relationship will likely be stronger and have greater integrity due to this.\u201d Rastogi also noted that every clinician has a different way of handling secrets. She explains to couples before they start therapy that she won\u2019t keep secrets. As such, if a partner reveals they\u2019re having an affair, they either need to share it with their partner or they can\u2019t continue therapy. \u201cI believe this helps me best serve the needs of both members of the couple while doing effective work.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Not following through. Couples may agree on what needs to change in a relationship in order for it to improve, Hansen said. But following through or applying helpful techniques during an argument can be difficult, she said. \u201cTo overcome this obstacle, couples must learn to be patient with one another and work together as a team.\u201d Hansen encourages her clients to identify \u201ccatchphrases\u201d for times that an argument is getting out of control, such as: \u201cwe\u2019re off track\u201d; \u201cwe\u2019re spiraling\u201d; \u201cwe need to stop\u201d; \u201cbreak\u201d or \u201cpause\u201d; or \u201csomething playful [or] anything to interrupt the fight.\u201d She also suggests learning to identify and then expressing when you\u2019re becoming emotionally overwhelmed. One clue is when you \u201cfeel like you are too overwhelmed to listen or engage in a productive manner.\u201d And she encourages clients to take a 20-minute break to relax and refocus. \u201cBoth parties must use the time to calm themselves, and both must agree to return to the discussion after 20 minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

5. Not trusting the process. Couples might enter therapy wanting a quick fix or again wanting the clinician to tell their partner that they need to change, Hansen said. However, to improve your relationship, it\u2019s important for couples to trust the therapy process, she said. \u201c\u2026[T]o really get to the root of your marital conflict and begin the healing process, you and your spouse will have to invest your time and commit to learning how to be vulnerable with one another, expressing feelings rather than thoughts, acknowledging your role in the dance, and learning how to hear what you partner is truly saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

6. Waiting too long. \u201cMany couples use couple therapy as their last stop before heading off to their divorce attorney or court,\u201d Rastogi said. However, these couples are less likely to improve their relationship, she said. If a conflict is negatively affecting your marriage, and doesn\u2019t go away, seek help early. Avoid waiting and hoping that it\u2019ll pass. \u201cIt won\u2019t.\u201d If you are going to therapy as a last resort, Rastogi stressed the importance of keeping an open mind. \u201cLate help-seeking couples\u201d also can use therapy to \u201cweigh their choices, resolve some conflicts or even plan a structured separation that keeps their relationship civil and functional.\u201d Ultimately, see a couples therapist as soon as possible. \u201cIf you and your partner are struggling, reach out for help while you are both willing to make changes and are invested in the relationship,\u201d Hansen said.<\/p>\n

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Why Couples Therapy? Ibiza Couples therapy can help couples improve their relationship in many ways. For instance, it helps couples resolve conflict, learn how to communicate effectively, better understand each other, enhance their emotional connection and strengthen their bond. Naturally, couples may face obstacles in therapy that stall their progress. They may have inaccurate assumptions […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=286"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":287,"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286\/revisions\/287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.ibiza-therapie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}